Moments
by snowwflight
Summary: Sometimes, it takes days upon days of careful contemplation to realize something tremendous. Other times, all it takes is a moment. /oneshot


It took one moment for Kaname to realize that he'd never be with Chisaki—the moment when he'd barely hauled himself over the edge of the boat, drenched with seawater and panting from the effort, only to see her holding Tsumugu in her arms, to be exact.

Her trembling eyes were fighting back tears as she cried out Tsumugu's name, her voice high with panic. Her arms were wrapped around his body and she clutched him so tightly that it was like her own life depended on it.

Maybe she _did_ feel like her life depended on it.

Kaname couldn't help but freeze under the weight of that realization. It crashed into his heart, stronger and heavier than any other emotion he'd felt before, the impact of it almost overwhelming.

The ever-reliable, seemingly sensible part of himself—the same part of himself that Chisaki had confided in countless times in the past with endless trust; and the one that would unfailingly find a way to comfort her every single time, even as each word of comfort he gave to her led to one more twinge of sorrow for him—told him that it was normal.

Tsumugu was their friend, and he'd almost drowned. Of course she'd be scared for his life. That was completely expected. She was a fairly emotional person, after all. She would've reacted the same for anybody else—even if it was Kaname himself.

But why wasn't she helping him?

He was about fall off. Keeping himself dangling on the slippery edge of the boat was becoming increasingly difficult as the boat swung back and forth in the relentless waves, almost like it was trying to shake him off.

Tsumugu's life had almost been in danger, but surely Chisaki would notice Kaname as well. He was the only one who had helped Chisaki carry Tsumugu to the water's surface.

He was the only one who noticed how Chisaki had been immediately aware of Tsumugu's boat getting overturned, even if it was one boat of the dozens of identically sized boats with identically shaped hulls and identically coloured sails.

He was the only one who noticed how Chisaki had screamed Tsumugu's name with so much terror in her voice that it was like _she_ was the one in danger.

He was the only one who noticed how Chisaki had dived into the churning waves after Tsumugu without any hesitation or any thought for herself, even though Kaname's mind had been _swarming_ with thoughts about Chisaki—" _Will she really be able to carry him to safety all by herself?" "What if the current's too strong and she ends up getting hurt as well?"_

So why hadn't Chisaki noticed him yet?

A thundering groan shook the air. Kaname's arms were shaking. He wasn't sure if it was from the strain needed to keep himself on the boat or from the thoughts pulsing through his mind.

Why was she only looking at Tsumugu?

A massive bridge pier wobbled off its damaged base with a horrible creak before it began falling towards the sea, dangerously close to the boat.

 _Help me._

Kaname made a final feeble attempt to push himself onto the boat before it made a sharp swerve on the water.

And then, _finally,_ Chisaki looked up. Her eyes were wide with panic, tears causing them to glisten a beautiful hue of azure. They made eye contact just as Kaname was thrown off of the boat.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tell her just how much everything inside of him hurt after seeing her embrace Tsumugu like that.

Kaname smiled.

Doing anything otherwise would be selfish of him, he decided as he fell towards the hungry waves. Letting Chisaki know about all the pain he'd been burying inside of himself _now—_ right before he would get swallowed by the sea and possibly never see her again _—_ was one of the worst thing he could do to her.

Kaname's vision blurred. Had he fallen into the sea already... or were they tears?

Chisaki remained frozen in her position, terror etched in her expression. Her lips were parting. Was she about to scream? For him?

He willed time to slow. For his descend into the crashing sea to halt. For _anything_ that would allow him to hear her voice screaming—for _his_ sake. To reassure him that she had noticed him. That she had thought of him. That she did care about him.

But then the deafening roar of the sea drowned everything out as Kaname plunged deep into the water. A violent swirl of foam and bubbles rushed to fill his vision before the colossal pillar smashed into the water right after him and everything shattered. It only took one moment.

* * *

 **Author's notes:**

I'm not sure why, but the Kaname-falling-off-boat scene in the anime felt pretty significant/emotional for me (especially since it looked like he died or something), and I was kind of disappointed when he came back perfectly fine and not like, crushed or something, and nothing about it was really ever mentioned again. Which is why I decided to overdramatize this scene and add a lot more angst than necessary!

I'd like to someday write something a bit more original, but this is my first ever Fanfiction and I'm really uncreative LOL so sorry XD Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this, and any feedback/reviews would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!


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